Feeling Of Embarrassment

The feeling of embarrassment would be felt when

* the things, that you deserved not to occur, occurs
* when you feel jealous of your very close friend
* when no one minds you in a party or function or in a big crowd
* One more is there that would be mentioned last at this post

I felt all of the above mentioned embarrassment in my life (until now)
* I heard my college colleagues sorry..sorry.. college friends placed in wipro got their DOJ about december. When I called up them to verify whether its true and to ask them what they are planning to do in the gap in thought of accompanying them.
But it's usual for people consoling themselves by making pity of the people in worse condition than them. But sometimes they make pity on people who are unsure of their condition if no one in inferior to them there. Like that they make pity of me by saying(rumour) my DOJ will only be after Jan 14. Really I felt most embarrassed at that second I heard that. I thought my DOJ should not go beyond Oct. Thought that is a rumour. I felt embarrassed a while at that minute i heard it.

* Actually I was topper in all my secondary schoolings. Everyone will appreciate me . All students in my class thought me genius. I had a friend Dinesh looking handsome. He is very jovial with my class girls. I am jealous of him. I was infactuated with a girl named Gayathri in my class. He is very jovial towards her. This made me hate him more. I felt embarrased whenever he spoke to me or her or to any girl even when he get into my sight. This feeling didnt allowed me speak to any of our class girls freely. Really a tough time for me at that age. I overcame this when I made it clear that she is also friend of DInesh like the way he is to me. Afterall she is the same classmate to me and him. This taught me that girls are not specials. they are just our friends like the other guy. Afterall they too the same humans like us.

* It's the time when I went to my class girl jeyanthi's sister marriage. She didnt show that much hospitaliy to us. Initially I felt nothing. But only when my friend Dheena was reporting us about her worst hospitality, me too started thinking about that. He is the close friend to her and only because of him we all went to her sister's marriage. When we are returning from mandapam, we are speaking ourselves about this. I felt embarrased only when Jeyanthi messaged me sorry. since dheena pictured her that we all felt worst of her hospitality than him. Its not true. But in an hour I cleared out of this. He is a close friend of her. SO it is right part on him expecting more hospitality than us. How can he directly tell this to her. so that he used our faces. there is nothing wrong in it

In all the above three situations I learned something and came out of them easily.
The last worst embarrament that i about to mention is the situation that i am experiencing now. Above said embarrasements had solution in my hand. But this had no solution in my hand. I am saying about the state of me staying now in home without knowing when will the company call me. Everyone around me asking me and my parents about this only. I too dont know when will this end.

So the worst embarrassment will be felt when someone other than you are going to decide your fate and you are unknown about when will he decide and what will be his decision.

I dont know what would be taught to me this time. may be patience..
I hope it wont taught me the saying " Never trust your company"

How come this blog created

I am in lengthy gap between my Student life and professional life. Really its the time i confused myself more than anytime about all the three tenses of mine and my life. Its also the same time i get into more self researching and the process of improving myself as an real Computer Engineer. Joined in all orkut communities. Had lot of ideas changing from day to day...
MS,DXN,CALLCENTRE,HACKER,SYSTEM PROGRAMMER,OPEN SOURCE DEVELOPER,SOFTWARE COMPANY,IMPROVING FATHER'S BUSINESS MORE AND MORE.....


Really I am in need of solution to do something worthful and something that adds values to me and my profession in future...
I am thinking...thinking....just thinking.........
I even tried reading books,writing diaries...nothing works on my thoughts...
Atlast i am going to try this personal blogging... this blog got its birth at the death of AUG 10...
let us see what happens...........